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Do you ever feel sick of being you.......

Sepertinya harus belajar lagi saying no and setting boundaries. . Disaat ini seperti sudah muak menjadi people-pleaser. Saying 'yes' because I am worried about disappointing someone or not being supportive enough to them. I am so fuckin tired of doing that. 

Beberapa teman bilang kalau aku 'sungkan' nya udah keterlaluan. Bener-bener ngga tau gimana cara nolak orang, dan berakibat nyusahin diri sendiri. To be honest, I was a real pushover. Tidak tau bagaimana cara membentuk batasan untuk berani menolak, mengatakan apa yang kusuka dan tidak, memutuskan berdasarkan apa yang ku inginkan.  Dulu sempat berpikir kalau selalu meng-iya-kan keinginan orang-orang, it made me easygoing, likeable. Dan selalu meyakinkan diri sendiri kalau "tidak apa-apa jadi baik". 

Little did I know that it really just made me lost, confused, and pretty unlikable, hanya jika aku benar-benar tidak bisa membuat batasan tersebutI think I am being pleasant, agreeable, and drama-free, but concealing the true self does no one any good. It just makes me feel like people unappreciated me because I am surrounded by rude, greedy, and unforgiving people who, rather than appreciating that I've prioritized their needs. Hmmm.................(to be continued, alias masih mikir)

Note for myself:

I learned that even with all the saying "treat people the way you want to be treated," not everyone will treat me the same way I treat them. And I should remember, there’s a fine line between being kind and let people take me for granted. 

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