Oh my beloved,
How could this all be forgotten
While you are still etching in my heart
But I believe I still settled in your heart
Although schizophrenia made you forgot about me,
You remained me about the beautiful twilight in my life,
Orange, melancholic feeling, and affectionate..
2012
A man sat glued in the corridor of hospital, plunged in thought. He felt the whole of his life is broken; He had no strength. All of the memories as though revolved around his thought. The doctor had already diagnosed her wife. Anastasia who had married by Bara since three months ago, she was getting schizophrenia paranoid. He wondered why the woman that he loved was suffering. Life is unfair. He thought. For a moment after doctor’ diagnosis, he was still in daze. Steeped in sadness he cried in the silent.
2010
Anastasia laughed with Bara under a tree. They talked about something and made a beam between them. When he saw Anastasia in front of him, again he blessed that god true good. At the time, the twilight was wonderful. Anastasia looked at the sky and asked to her boyfriend “Do you know why the twilight always beautiful, Bar?” Bara only keep in silence. “Because, the twilight only come in a crack. The twilight will not hold out for a longer like a morning or a night. The twilight won’t as hot as when a day and won’t as cold as midnight. The twilight is warm. It is simple and that is why we admire it, although it comes just for a while then it goes” explained Anastasia. For me, you are the most beautiful. Bara thought.
“And you know? I think twilight is like the happiness in my life." Said Anastasya again. For a moment, Bara tried to guess. "So twilight is like the happiness in my life. The happiness comes only for a while. It is not like the sadness which happened to me for a long time. Happiness in my life only come shortly. And one of my happiness that I feel is since I am with you. And perhaps at a later, happiness is also a stay for a while" Said Anastasia while leaned his head on the Bara’s shoulder. Bara looked at his girlfriend strangely.
"What does the means of happiness with me hold out only for a while, Anastasia?". Anastasia only answered with wagging their heads.
"Ah No, it just a joke. You know me so well if I like to imagine” Anastasia said. Bara only quite, he didn’t understand but he tried to not think about the Anastasia answer.
-
All of his memories about Anastasia unfolding in his head. Suddenly his cellular phone rang. Home. A call from the housekeeper. "hello sir." housekeeper voice on the other side of there. Answered Bara languidly. "Sir, Mrs. Anastasia go berserk again. You should come back home quickly sir. A while ago,Mrs. Anastasia try to commit suicide but fortunately I can prevent it. You should come back home, Sir"
Her heart was noise. He hurried back home and his mind more confused. Do not do that Anastasia. Do not provoking yourselves compassion. He said in his heart.
Half an hour later, he was standing in front of the door of his bedroom. He saw her lover standing near the window looked out with empty gaze. Bara looked around his bedroom so rudely disrupted. Bara was getting closer with his wife. I still loving you. I still your beloved, your husband. Stated Bara on Anastasia while kissing on the his wife’ head. The woman was still staring out with a blank gaze.
-
A few weeks passed before Bara still accompanied his wife faithfully. His love is still pure and he never feel tired to accompany his wife. Only Bara, the housekeeper and also Bara’ paret who know about the condition of his wife. His mother often demanded to bara to bring Anastasia went to the mental hospital. His mother thought that, at least there are the doctor who will always treat Anastasia. His mother didn’t like to see his son so suffer lived together with crazy woman. One day when the housekeeper asked went out, Bara found Anastasia sitting in front of the door in his house. But that was not what makes Bara felt sad and astonished. He saw his wife was sitting holding the blade chain, and Anastasia has stripped all his clothes. His mother always asked to Bara to bring Anastasia to the mental hospital. His mother told him with an excuse that Anastasia could gradually healed. With a heavy heart, he should bring his wife to settled in mental hospital. Everyday Bara looked his wife, every night he persuaded him walked around the hospital. Because he knew, despite her lover couldn’t remember, he believed that Anastasia still remember twilight and also still love it.
16.30. The Bara’ Blackberry rang. A call from hospital. Suddenly he felt there was something wrong. What happens. He said in the heart. A nurse from the hospital told that Anastasia disappeared from the Hospital. He became shock. He was out of breath. Where are you Anastasia?. Immediately his thoughts muddled any. A few minutes and then he came in front of the Hospital. He looked for Anastasia in the streets near the hospital. Bara so sorry why it was so vigorous entering his wife into the mental hospital. He hated himself because he felt that he was so cruel. Please forgive me my dears. He said in the heart while continued to search for his wife. Until he Anastasia stand alone at the edge of the highway. Bara ran toward Anastasia. He embraced her lover, but Anastasia was raging and cried. He was trying to bring Anastasia but she rebelled, growled and she ran to the middle of the highway. And suddenly there was a car raced and hitcrash Anastasia until his body bounce far..
-
For the second time he felt destroyed. He had no strength to face about what had been happened. Anastasia, his beloved, his wife, Bara had lost everything. He stood in front of the Anastasia body filled with the blood. Bara such as not able any more to face the world. Anastasia, beautiful women who admired twilight has gone. She was leaving Bara forever but Bara would be remembered his memory with Anastasia.
You are my woman,
As soft as the cares of the wind in the afternoon,
I will miss your smile
And you,
Will always be of the dusk that I wait for,
when I am bored await the day of my old age without you.
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